Well, it happened. Donald Trump is also the president.
On the newest episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, swingin’ Singer and fightin’ Frankel were all over the same man at a speed dating session hosted by Rori Sassoon of Platinum Poire the ladies attended.
OK, all over may be a slight exaggeration, but the two were definitely making twinkle eyes at the same dude. Fighting over a man? New York can be a small place, after all.
Here’s what went down — the two meet a guy named Brian who buys Ramona a glass of wine (no word on if it was Ramona’s wine), but then gets deep into a conversation with Bethenny shortly after (probably something about Skinnygirl jeans or granola bars or shakes or martinis or whatever else is being churned out in that big red factory somewhere out in Romania or maybe New Jersey.)
“I think you’re super cool,” Brian tells Bethenny. “I think you’re awesome.”
“Thank you. Aww that’s super nice,” she tells him, hugging him. “Thank you, that was very sweet. I think the same thing about you, I think it took balls to come here, I really do. I appreciate it.”
Bethenny went on to say she noticed him pretty quickly. “It was a little romantic, walking in and being like, ‘Oh my God…’ ” she said.
She's also makes sure to let everyone know she is single and ready to mingle.
“I’m always 100 percent honest with everyone,” she tells him. “Doesn’t mean it’s not going to hurt somebody else, but I’m single — I’m completely single.”
While these two hit it off, Ramona reappears with a drink in hand (tequila, which Ramona pronounces de-keela) for "the guy in the red scarf" whose name, again, is Brian.
When she's told by another guest that red scarf is into Bethenny, she replies, "I don’t really care who he likes…He brought me a drink so I want to bring him a drink.”
Then she marches over, de-keela in hand, to deliver the drink and a message. “Since you were kind enough to bring me a drink, I thought I’d bring you a drink," she tells him. Whispers, actually. Kind of like Marilyn Monroe meets a solid New York February flu.
Meanwhile, Sonja Morgan is watching this all while sitting right next to them like she's at the movies. Who has some popcorn? Someone get Sonja some popcorn!
It’s a real friendship — or frenemy — test to like the same guy as your girlfriend. Never do claws come out so fast and sharp as when you and your girlfriend go after the same dude. When do you back off? When do you pursue?
The question even popped up on Reddit, with one user asking, “When you and your best friend like the same guy, does it become a competition or do you both leave it?”
One commenter said, “If my friend and I have out eyes on the same dude, we'll usually swoon over him together but neither will act on our feelings unless the other has said she wouldn't mind.”
Another writes, “We split him evenly. I usually like to take the bottom half. In reality, I usually let the other girl take him. It's not worth my time or effort to ‘compete’ for him.”
Some advice was offered by another: “Having been the girl that ‘loses.’ it really really sucks. She loses the guy she's interested in, she loses her best friend, she has to watch the two of you together, listen to her friend go on and on about how amazing the guy is and pretend like she doesn't care about any of it. Not a fun place to be, and it can completely ruin the friendship. My advice in your situation would be to talk to both of them — the girl you're not into might well back down and leave it, and be happy for her friend. The worse thing is not knowing what's going on, and hearing all about it from random mutual acquaintances.”
Another took the question and ran all the way to the end of the road with it. “Never ends well. Even though you only like one of them, the unattractive one will forever blame the one you are attracted to for 'stealing you' from her. She will become psychotic and ruin whatever fun you'd have with the one you like, and then the two will both blame you for trying to tear them apart.”
Experts do advise if you are in this situation to figure out how much you like this guy. Is he the one or just a passing fancy? You need to recognize the difference and act accordingly. Not everyone is the one. That’s why it’s one. Not 25.
Consider your age — if you’re 22, this will happen more often than if you're 42, when hopefully your tastes have been more refined and you're lucky if you like anybody, never mind the same guy as your friend. Plus, you’ll have wedded the idiots out of your friendship circle by this point, so you’ll care about the friends you do have and you won’t want to mess up your close relationships.
Be honest. If you are having strong feelings that you think are real do not make a move until you talk to your friend. Not saying ask for permission, just be open and honest. It could make or break your friendship.
The outcome could determine if you stay friends or not, so you must weigh what’s worth risking, the friendship or the guy?
Friendship expert Shasta Nelson tells Personal Space, “definitely talk and be honest up front as soon as you both know,” and communicate the following:
“I’m interested in him too because….I don’t view this as a competition between us but rather an opportunity for us to both get to know him/him to get to know us and trust that it will become more clear, and obviously I love you and our friendship the most so at the end of the day I’m hoping we can feel closer, support each other, and trust the strength of our friendship. What's more when you “share your interest, speak positively about the process, stay casual about a specific outcome, and affirm the friendship,” you'll likely leave with your friendships in tactic ... and possibly a new beau in the process.
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